King Of The Hill Says Goodbye!

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Rehabs Newest Guest….. Melanie Griffith!

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The Locator: Dad’s Dying Wish… Search For Mike

Mike has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. He sends a video along with his daughter Nicole to Troy Dunn asking for help to find his son that he left over 15 years ago. Dunn takes the case (case is sensitive to Dunn because his daughter is fighting cancer) and flies to Oregon to meet this family. There Mike Sr. tells the story of how he and his ex-wife married at a young age ( he was 17, she was 15 and pregnant), he finished high school and joined the Coast Guard to help take care of his family. There he hung out with the wrong crowd and cheated on his wife. When he came back he decided that it would be better for the family without him ( he was still living a crazy life style) and that he wasn’t ready for that big of a responsiblity. His daughter Nicole, is also very anxious about finding her brother because with her dad dying, finding her brother will make her feel as if a part of her dad is still there after he is gone.

The search finds a aunt of Mike Jr, but is unwilling to give up any information. Dunn flies down to North Carolina to meet the aunt and after some talking gives in and tells Dunn where he could find Mike Jr, at the race track. Dunn calls and meets Mike Jr ( who had just lost his job and is having a hard time finding a new one) at the race track. There Mike Jr tells about how his father left when he was 3 and that he has never searched for his dad. Dunn asked what he felt about his dad and if there was anything or an answer that his dad could give him to help get over this. Mike Jr says he doesn’t think there is anything that his dad could do or say to make it better and take away the hurt and anger he feels. In a conversation with his mother, he reveals that growing up he packed that side ( his father) up in a box and left it on a shelf. To him, his dad was dead and doesn’t know if he wants to meet him.

Mike Jr, still undecided about meeting his dad, flies to Oregon. Dunn explains to him that his dad is dying and that this is his only chance to meet his dad.

Dunn meets with Mike Sr and his family in a park to let the family know that he has located his son, and brought Mike Jr with him because he didn’t know if Mike Sr was physically capable  of flying. There Dunn has them turn around to meet Mike Jr, Nicole runs up to him first and gives a huge hug. Then Dunn asks Nicole to introduce Sr to Jr and she does. The two break down crying as they say hello ( a very touching moment, made me want to call my daddy). Mike Sr introduces his son to his other daughter, Angelica and his wife. Mike Sr makes a joke that they both are bald at the same time, Mike Jr chuckled at it. Mike Sr explains that he was not in a right place at that time but never forgot him, hated christmas ( Mike Jr was born on Dec 26th) and never felt complete. He then asks for forgiveness.

In the end, Mike r wants to spend more time with his dad so he has moved to Oregon,where he has moved in with his dad. Mike Sr is improving and is off his pain medication. Everyone is hoping that this will help Mike Sr to beat his cancer.

Gwen Stefani’s Husband Is Bisexual (Or Was It An 80’s Experiment?)

The story takes place back in the 80’s when a young Gavin (16 at the time) saw the most beautiful man he has ever seen in his life, named Marilyn. Marilyn was big on the London party scene, and young Gavin just had to have him. Gavin followed him around at all the hottest clubs until one day he got up the nerve to go and talk to the gorgeous Marilyn. Marilyn knew that he was young, tried to deter him from wanting to get personally involved but Gavin stood strong to his feelings. Confessing to Marilyn ” I am not in love with “the Marilyn”, I am in love with you. I want you.” (snif snif…tear)The couple dated for 5 years.

Marilyn

At least that is how Marilyn remembers it but between the drugs and booze, he really could have said anything. In the latest InTouch magazine, Marilyn talks about his personal relationship with the now straight Gavin (didnt think that being gay was an option… either you are or your not?) The relationship came to light from the one and only Boy George in his book, Take It Like A Man. Gavin denies any sexual relationship, saying that they are only friends, and still are to this day. Marilyn  also denied the rumor of a relationship but admits that he lied for Gavin. Gavin was becoming popular in the U.S.  and Gavin asked him not to say or admit to anything.

Gavin’s love for Marilyn could still be going strong…. apparently, Gwen looks just like Marilyn. Well, I guess if you can’t get the boy… go for the closiest look a like  girl? Marilyn has met all of Gavin’s girlfriends except for his wife, Gwen. Which supposedly is Gavin’s idea. Marilyn did show up to the wedding but no one told the bride. Would have loved to see the look on her face! Gwen, remember when I told you I was gay in the 80’s? I’d like you to meet the only man that has ever had my ass…. Marilyn..Gwen.. Gwen… Marilyn.

Marilyn says that he has not been intimate with anyone else since Gavin (now that must be some good loving…. cause that would never happen to me). He still loves  and deeply cares for Gavin. He is the one man that broke his heart He loves him and always will and always have (snif  snif… why cant a straight person get the same love and affection.. damn it!).

Just think if it doesn’t work out with Gwen, Im sure Marilyn will take you back!

The Princess And The Frog:Disney’s First Black Princess

 

They have finally decided to cross the border and join the 20th century. Disney is actually doing a movie where the “pretty pretty princess” is not white, and the “dashing prince” will not be either. In fact, the prince is Brazilian and the princess is Africian-American.  Wow, first a president, now a Disney movie, hold on people, Obama was right “change will come”.

What is the movie about? According to the Washington Post: “Tiana is a young waitress and talented chef who dreams, like her father, of owning her own restaurant. She eventually kisses a frog and is transformed into one. She must journey into the dark bayou to get a magical cure from a good voodoo queen. She is aided by a goofy firefly and a trumpet-playing alligator. The frog turns out to be handsome Prince Naveen, from the far-off and fictional land of Maldonia. ”

 

And the message is from the movie? “Tiana needs both love and a career to find happiness. Her dream is not just to marry a prince,”

Sounds more like this story is a reality tv show. Sorry girls no more prince chariming on a white horse to come and sweep you away from all that haunts you to his castle in the sky.

And what started this? Michelle Obama being the first African-American First Lady and her daughters. There will soon be released black barbie dolls from the line called “So In Style” debuting this summer.

Heres my question: Is it better late than never?

Jessica Only Squats To Pee

 

Jessica Simpson has been taking alot of heat lately for her fuller figure ( if her figure is considered full, then I’ll be a full anytime) so she has started training again. Unfortunately, she is complaining that her trainer is making her do squats and according to Jessica ” I only squat to pee”. If that is what she has to do while training then do it, girl! You won’t be able to tell the difference between sweat and pee anyway.

Nelly and Ashanti getting Extorted by there joint sexual partner

 

Apparently one of hip hop’s hottest couples is currently being blackmailed by a former video vixen/exotic dancer/escort who feels that she was not adequately compensated for her services over the past few years.

Here’s what the semi-popular video vixen asked us to publish:

WatchURmouth.com I just wanted to put one of your favorite couple’s on blast. Nelly and Ashanti are two frauds. They promised to buy me a home in Atlanta, and now Nelly is saying that he won’t do it anymore.

I’ve known Ashanti for about 3 years and we dated for about 2. Ashanti almost as soon as we started kicking it, she brought Nelly into the picture. I’m very open so it was cool … and it wasn’t really even about sex, we were all just like part of a family together.

As far as sex goes, we all kick it together. Ashanti is a straight up lesbian too – she’s a butch. We used to do everything, but now she only wants to perform oral sex on me, and never asks me to do it to her. I don’t think she F#%^ Nelly on the regular either.

And Nelly, he’s cool and all. But he’d be really embarrassed if I put out there that he likes the vibrator used on him more than I do. Not in the booty but all around the hole.

WatchURmouth.com please help me put this out, they need to be embarrassed. I have been out of work now for about 6 months and I have a daughter to take care of. They promised me that home, I picked out furniture and everything, it’s not fair. I’m thinking about getting a lawyer and suing them for breach of contract.

Please black out the names like it’s a blind item. I’ll call Nelly after you post the story. If he still doesn’t buy me the house then you can go with whatever.

 

Lindsay Lohan’s Profile On eHarmony

At least she has a sense of humor. But I do see a bunch of people applying for this job. Lindsay’s new boy/girl toy. Apply now. Real, sensible people not need apply.

A Cure For Men That Ejaculate To Early…Horray For The Minute Men!

Finally, something for us women! Instead of 36 seconds, we can now get 38 seconds of pure bliss. Yeah, baby (I hear Marvin Gaye singing “Lets Get It On”). Believe it or not, there is a company in Europe that has come out with a spray for men that have a “pre-ejaculation” problem (snicker, snicker, poor bastard).

I know all you women want to know the name of this exciting new product but unfortunately, it is still in its testing stages (men are just to lucky, I can see the lines forming around the building) but it’s codename for now is PSD502. According to the guardian.co.uk, the spray was tested on 191 men (again lucky bastards), who had an average ejaculation time of 36 seconds (my condolences to the woman) before the spray. After the spray the time greatly increased to 3 minutes and 48 seconds (whoo hoo, I can see the smiles already).

I know you all are asking when will the PSD502 be available? It is currently in its 3rd trail phase, which is usually the last phase before it cums (oops), comes out to the public. So ladies, cross them fingers and toes. Men, you can finally get your pride back. You might even break a sweat. On the flip side, women a whole extra 3 minutes! Thats really not worth taking the panties off.

Tori Spelling’s Mom Sells House Out Of Spite

Here is another saga of the poor rich kid versus the poor  rich mother. It was wrong for Candi Spelling to write her daughter out of the will, then wonder why Torri’s so mad at her (daddy wouldn’t have done it, so mommy waits for daddy to die, then becomes the evil bitch). You can’t give a dog a bone, then expect the dog not to get irritated or mad when you take it away! But, I do love watching rich people get poor-ish ( I know, seek therapy).

We love you money... Oppsies...We mean daddy and honey

At one point, the two seem to have settled their differences once Torri’s first child was born. That happiness didn’t last for long. Candi tells People magazine that she has not seen her second grandchild yet, nor had any recent communication with Liam (Torri’s first child). Candi swears that she would not sell the house if she knew that she would see her grandchildren, but since that doesn’t look like its going to happen she is selling the $150 million home.

Hmmm... with my sister out, how much do I get now?

Candi, will be moving into her new $47 million dollor condo (what a HUGE step down, I remember when I had to do that also…. then I woke up from my dream). She still hopes in seeing her grandkids but if not they will at least know “Mom-mom” by the huge trustfund that she has set up for them (people, nothing says I Love You more, than a trustfund!).

“Mom-mom” still hopes that she can reconcile with her Torri, at least before she croaks. She even had a playroom made for those “just in case it happens” moments. Don’t hold your breath, until you put Torri back in the will, it will be love from a distance.